Last night my friends took me out for dinner and my main option was pasta.  Now I love pasta and yet it’s a major challenge for both ED and diabetes.  All those calories.  All those carbs that are slow to enter the system.

So last night was challenging for me (I tried many different words there, but I’ll stick with “challenging”).

I don’t think Italians often leave food so I felt rude.  Though, luckily, my friend knows about my diabetes so at least that part makes sense to her.  I have not shared ED – that’s my private cross to bear and just as with my new partner, her not knowing pushes me to eat more normally and that is essential for my recovery.  In any case, I probably left about 1/3-1/2 of the pasta on my plate though it looked like I had barely eaten.

Overnight, I had the dual challenge of a failing sensor that I don’t want to change until the last possible moment and a quickly changing BS level.  From a nice 6.0 when I went to bed, to a not-so-nice 19.2 in the middle of the night.

Today I am grateful I can go slowly on my own and putter through my day.  I am tired.  It’s days like these when I feel frustrated with diabetes and ED and all of it.  These frustrations, ironically, fuel more ED thoughts and so I must fight my destructive side even harder at this moment of feeling weaker than normal.

I know life isn’t fair.  But I can still wish it was.